The holiday season is upon us. No, really. It may still be very hot outside, but it is time to start making plans. The holiday season is supposed to be a time of family tradition and enjoyment. Sometimes, however, the holiday season can be a time of stress and conflict for co-parents. If you are a co-parent, with a little planning and thoughtfulness, the holiday season can still mean holiday joy for you and your family.
First, read your orders and decree. Schedules often alternate in odd versus even years. Also, usually holiday time does not need to be claimed the way vacation time does, but double check since you do not want to lose time because you simply forgot to claim it. Do not forget to put information in writing to your co-parent if it is required by the orders and decree.
Second, provide your co-parent with information as early as possible. Whether you have a deadline or not to claim certain time, providing the information as soon as possible is a simple courtesy that can go a long way. Besides, opening the conversation early with your co-parent may raise important concerns regarding your child. For instance, while communicating about the schedule and how it will revolve around your daughter’s semester finals, you and your co-parent may have an important conversation about her grades which have recently fallen. Now that you are discussing the issue, you may create a plan to handle the problem together.
Third, be flexible. Yes, if you and your co-parent cannot be flexible, you can always fall back on your orders and decree. Yet, it certainly would be better if you knew you did not have to worry about following the orders and decree to the letter when it works better for your schedule.
If you begin the conversation early with your co-parent, you may discover that you both have time that the other parent prefers. For instance, you have custodial time over the Thanksgiving break from school, but you have to work. Your co-parent does not have to work at that time, but does have to work over his custodial time during the winter break from school. If the two of you discuss exchanging the time before Thanksgiving, you can make arrangements to do so. If you wait until after Thanksgiving, your co-parent already missed the opportunity to have holiday time and has less of a reason to offer you extra time.
Fourth, when you are with your children for the holidays, make the time about them. Continue to share your existing traditions with the children while letting them know that it is also good to develop new traditions together. Do not spend your precious holiday time with the children upset about what your co-parent did or did not do with them. For instance, if your co-parent already took the children for pictures with Santa, take them ice skating instead of getting more pictures with Santa. Also, while it is good to let children know what to expect as far as when they will be with which parent, do not burden them with the details of your negotiations with your co-parent. Always let the children know that they should have a good time with both parents!
With a little planning and flexibility, everyone can have a meaningful holiday season. If you and your co-parent are unable to work together over the holidays, call the attorneys at Pecos Law Group.