Well, the Duggars did it again. You know the Duggars, the very large, very outspoken family from Arkansas who seem to be in the spotlight a lot lately for less than savory reasons. This time, in a relatively minor infraction, a Duggar son-in-law caused a slight stir by posting a picture of himself on Instagram holding his infant son with the caption reading “Babysitting this guy this morning : ).” In what is for the Duggars a relatively minor to-do, some people were not amused by the reference to a father “babysitting” his own child.
I wanted to know what the people who I know think of this issue, so in a completely unscientific manner, I present my anecdotal findings based on my Facebook posting requesting input and my survey of the people in my office. Here’s what I found when I posed the following questions: When a dad takes care of his child, is it babysitting? Do you think it is offensive when it is referred to as babysitting?
First: A lot of my friends are on Facebook in the middle of the day and some of them do not know how to answer surveys. I am looking at those of you who gave the post a thumbs up but did not actually answer.
Second: The vast majority of people who answered said that a father does not babysit his own children. Reference was made to the term being “old fashioned,” “from the 1950s” and implying that caring for the children is the “mother’s job.” Alternatively, it was noted that the term made the father sound like a teenager who is getting paid to do the mother a favor or that he was getting rewarded for doing something.
Third: While men said that they do not like the term, it was women who said it is offensive. The one man who did say it is an offensive term also said that it “undermines the family.” Interestingly, this was one of the oldest men to respond.
Finally, and IMO most important of all: The dads who answered are married and divorced. Regardless, they take pride in being active dads. For instance, one dad was surprised that a nurse told him that she was surprised to see him bringing his children to their doctor’s appointment because she usually does not see dads do that. Another dad even mentioned missing the time in his children’s lives when they were younger and needed him more.
So, where does this leave us? That’s the good news for children. At least in this little corner of the world, the consensus seems to be that dads should be and are active in their children’s lives.